in order to feel more, and to feel more like ourselves, we connect. but in our rush to connect, we flee from solitude and our ability to be separate and gather ourselves. lacking the capacity for solitude, we turn to other people but don't experience them as they are. it is as though we use them, need them as spare parts to support our increasingly fragile selves. we think constant connection will make us feel less lonely. the opposite is true. if we are unable to be alone, we are far more likely to be lonely. if we don't teach our children to be alone, they will know only how to be lonely.