bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized bite sized

Cut myself open, dig through my skin, muscles flesh and bones and discover knotted knots and unravel them all, uncover my soul bit by bit and find myself once more.







Hey look
I'm running away again aren't I
Well this time
At least it's towards my studies
And away from everything else
Because nothing else is worth it
I am so tired

Why do I even feel this way. I was well over it. This kind of weakness is fucking disgusting

ps. Tonight I wish that two really special people would see the light and smile ❤

pps. another coldplay-concert-youtube night


































Irony at it's best.
You used to make me so happy.
Now you just make me so sad.
I tear every now and then at the sight and thought of you.
It's the same thing all over again.
It's just so sad.

This, surely, is sadness. My chest
feeling as if it's under my kidney. It's not the same as emptiness.

Well hey. At least you still make me feel, like from the start. Just that it's a complete different feeling this time round. Ends of both worlds.

How could you not care about so much.




I don't even think I am upset. I think I might be happy, if anything. really confused about... everything. Maybe this is 'growing up' as we call it. Well I can't seem to come to terms with that fact.

I feel so disconnected from the rest of the world; been living in my little bubble for quite abit.

What is it that I need... i want. A best friend? Confidante? I think I could do with or without either.

My world is literally empty. I can't hear a thing. Can't seem to feel a thing anymore. I doubt I'd wince if you threw a punch right straight in my face. The irony... when just barely a few days back I was streaming my ass off with anger... annoyance at the things that people do (probably unknowingly) that upset me. My ears hurt from all that ringing. tiniest twinge of pain from all that crying on the inside

What is it that I want

Who the fuck am I
I don't know how to behave. how i want others to view me... percieve me as. can't seem to make a natural decision any longer. none of this is coming to me as it should. naturally. like breathing. movement. I don't know how to move, which part of my body to move. how to control. how to psycho myself into thinking what i should be thinking.
identity?
i'd like to have one

Am I making sense?

Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn’t wait to grow up.














































:-)

Going to fully utilize this week to put things back as they used to be years ago. All the habits to kick; and priorities to set straight (no pun intended).

1. Daily schedules/timetables

Realise those really help so well here goes plan A for Anita and for Action

2. Compulsory exercises

Healthy lifestyle stuff i'm trying to enforce and well so that i wouldnt lie about and binge my ass off and kill myself about it several minutes later

3. Keep the temptations away

Alicia has pretty much done part of that for me. At the rate i was going i think i practically owe her my life. Well then there's the case of my phone spoiling in the midst of jailbreaking so just as well~
Just one last thing i have to settle by myself. Something i don't even know how i got myself into.

4. Study. Learn. Re-learn. Teach myself. Revise. Note.

Ps. September, be nice to me. I need it.
Pps. Phone came back to life lolzzzzzz