We made it through guys, just like how we always do ;')


Highlights of STC:

Jetty Jump.
when andrea's shoe floated away to mainland~
when she landed on her butt~
when our baggyass trackpants floated above us while we swam back to the platform and we looked like bubblebutt cadet leaders~
when we thought we would drown and never see the light again, so deep underneath.

Intermediate rope challenge.
when we all volunteered to try out one of the elements~
when i managed to persuade jaslyn to do the madass commando crawl element thing with me and we couldn't decide who would go first~
when ____'s pretty eyes gave us the strength to get on that wooden thing~
WHEN WE BOTH CONQUERED THE MOST CHALLENGING ONE after suffering multiple ropeburns at the awkwardest places.

Campfire.
when i would cry at the thought of being mc from the start~
when shawn the human prawn and I would meet and come up with.... the script~
when...
when..
when...
the list goes on...
during the campfire itself, those moments when we were stunned, and those where we weren't~
when all of us cheered our lungs out~
when we jumped down from the platform thing to (attempt to) make an impactful entrance and ended up stumbling and possibly breaking our legs.........
when the CIs were being amazing, so helpful and motivating~
when the CIs were being unreasonable... for our own good.

when jen and I were put into the same group lol ultimate #benandjen moment much

Well, life goes on from here I guess. Those were the highlights of the camp and they can barely make up half of what the camp actually was like. We'll take what we can from this.


ps. I ZAI YOU ZAI WE ZAI YEAH

is this what being crazy feels like.

i see myself more as a chameleon than a human of any sort.

Tired of feeling this way.. being this way. Always say that all I need is some time away from everything; a peace of mind.... go to new zealand etc etc but i guess that's just what I assume would solve all my problems. running away. all i know is to run from this wreck of a life.

It obviously hasn't been working out. It's not normal... nothing has been the way it should be. i don't even know what the right way to feel is. Somebody teach me the rules of life. i'm so tired of trying to figure everything out by myself

sick of days like this. sick of living my life in my own head.






































Let me have a moment here



I was just watching Friends and all then had this very odd revelation about Love and what it actually is. Not the cliché oOoooh i don't understand luvluv shit but well what it really is..... The reality of it. The idea of it is insane, actually, accepting every flaw of a person and everything they do having some sort of hypnotic revelling effect on you, never getting sick of them.
That just brings 'commitment' to a whole new level, one I doubt i'd ever have the capability to reach.
I don't think I actually can trust anybody
Sure I take my chances and let slip a secret or two, what are those risks worth anyway.
It's fucking scary to believe so much in anything
just to have it all snatched away in a split second
I can't even let me have a friend...
Why would I be this way.....
it's fucking lonely in here.

You ask me where I see myself in ten years.

Well, here goes.

Corner of your room, bottle of wine in hand. Best part? It's fucking expensive.






It was as if I were suspended in the water-soaked atmosphere rather than in a filthy dilute chlorine pool, when I could finally breathe. It's a different kind of breathing, almost similar to the kind that comes inevitably with running.




















The past week has been 2012-one-of-a-kind. Idk how to put it and I never really was one with words anyway, but I wished things would stay that way. I guess you can call it a 'simple lifestyle'. But no. I should have known better than to place any form of faith or trust in any thing that is not.... a rock.




Sleep deprivation alert is on red so I shall eat some well-undeserved tauhuay and perhaps crash before my hair falls out and eyeballs burst because it is Lit tomorrow


when you don't want to feel, death can seem like a dream. but seeing it, really seeing it, it's fucking ridiculous to dream about it. have to get away get myself away so that i can't curl up and around it all anymore

thought i snapped out of this shit.

well i thought wrong

how am i supposed to get better when i cannot understand whatever it is that is going wrong

going harder than ever but i have to get back soon. this isn't working out. not as I planned.

Miss those butterflies
That I have never really had
You get them
When you are just that attached
Or just in love with the idea of being in love

I want a rock
Someone Something
That has the ability to hold me
Down to Earth
Now I am just another butterfly
One of which makes you feel
Whatever it is that you feel
When you are (fluttering) under your own rock


After 4 years
I think I finally understand why
It distracts like nothing else can
And the control
It seduces like nothing else has before
Misjudged as it is





































I am just starting to feel it and I cannot risk losing it all again. I'm sorry.


You're probably lost enough as it is


But so am I.



I think I'm finding my way back

Repeatedly
organizing
everything
keeps
me
so
sane
it
is
almost
as
if
it
helps

I just cannot seem to bring myself to commence the actual studying.
Chemistry A Math and Math will be the death of me. Failing to push beyond topics covered right after CT1, already unable to catch my breath.

Several solid hours in a library with nothing but all my resources around me. That's what I need.

sigh





























More than words, blood, tears and sweat. AC'2010, ATC'2011, AC'2011, NCO Camp 2012. All with Athena. Campcraft with T-Rex and Mafia. Shooting with part Athena and ma'ams. Drill comp with part Athena. We've all been through so much together. Like she said, "it's just the end of another chapter". It's as if this were a fairytale and at that moment, I swear we were walking off into the sunset. All of us, marching off.

ps I ZAI YOU ZAI WE ZAI YEAH
pps about time we got a tee lol






































:-) We'll bang it tomorrow. Top 3, please.