physical and mental pain are fucking overwhelming right now...... i just want to give up so bad. I can no longer rememeber the reason why i've been doing whatever i'm doing and my head is hurting and throbbing so badly. worst part is i've been trying to convince myself to take a break of sorts this week but i can't even bring myself to let this tension go. fucking hate feeling so insecure about anything especially my studies now but what i hate the most is this feeling and state of helplessness and limitation i've found myself struggling in

To achieve perfection the very essence of humanity would need to be sacrificed; art, religion, creativity, science, change, freedom, love and countless other aspects of our lives would have to be eliminated before perfection could be reached. Life in a perfect society would not be worth living because in our imperfect universe our version of the perfect society is indeed the most perverse, inhuman and imperfect society of all

The best things in life come from our imperfections and our ability to rise above them




Miley ily


























Some places i can't wait to visit to just chill at, whether with friends family or even alone


I cannot allow myself to stop for the briefest moment and doubt if everything I am stretching myself to my limits for will be worth it

I have to start pacing myself because this anxiety is wearing and burning me out


fucking motivating song lol

Labels: music

something about bearded men and absolutely brilliant indie

Labels: music

I have been feeling like i have nothing to express despite my constant introspection, and I have a lot to work on. I have to stop seeing the worst in people or assuming that everything everyone does is motivated by some form of egocentricity. I suppose there are varying forms of selfishness. Yet even the presumably selfless do what they do because they have to fill that void in their hearts by convincing themselves that they are bringing good to society. All this, in futile hopes of being labelled to be the good people of society, or simply because they feel that it is an obligation of sorts; a duty, to give in order to elevate the burden of guilt weighing their guts down. My entire perspective of the world has been as good as flipped and I desperately hope that I will find it in me to stop seeing things the way I currently do, through corrupted lenses of suspicion. I suppose I now know better than to allow any idea to take hold of me strongly enough to completely cloud my judgement over, regardless. There is love and a capability to love in everyone, it just takes the right moment, maybe even the right person, to see it.



















I'm not quite certain if this is just another bout of my typical anxiety because it feels different yet familiar at the same time. I am so uncertain and dissatisfied over my own life. I am also aware of the fact that there is plenty more to life than what meets the eye. Drilled into myself the mindset that I should converge my focus onto securing the one and only stable thing in my life, materialistic and superficial as it may seem. But more often than not, I find the tiniest of things triggering me, in turn giving carte blanche to my emotions holding me hostage. I wish for nothing but to finally achieve that nirvana that I yearn for, and to put this endless roundabout pursuit to an end.
Inevitably being the escapist I am, I have also found myself indulging in more reading and escapism than I have permited myself to in years. I couldn't come up with a more suitable term to describe this repetitive tendency. All this, for the sole purpose of seeking solace and that familiarity I associate with my distant childhood; escaping from the cold iron wrought grasps of reality.
I suppose I should be satisfied or even delightful and proud of myself and my medieval methods of coping with my own cowardice.


4n flashmob was fucking bomb!!!!!!!!!!!
Didn't get anything for anybody but managed to attain a flower from dear biste for angsty lao shi before it was too late. Also got drenched af under the waterfall cos YOLO swag carpe diem




















BEST TEACHERS' DAY EVER with the rest of the day spent with good company living the healthy lifestyle. Really a day well spent being thankful for all that have been granted to me thus far. Time to end this day by making tonight just as worthwhile.


Yknow sometimes you just get so dissatisfied with the way life is... all you wanna do is read or watch every movie possible and just drown yourself in whatever fantasies for a really long time and forget to live. Yeah all that despite the nagging voice at the back of your head better known as reality desperately trying to burst your delusional bubble of happiness. And somehow you keep wishing that things were different but at the same time you refuse to do anything change the way things are, because you know from experience it'll be a fucking long arduous and tiring process. So you have no choice but to alter your own perspectives but at the same time you really don't want to change anymore, because that's all you've been doing the entire short span of your life and you've almost always been certain that you have lost all traces of or forgotten who you really are. All you want at the moment is to settle into some sort of life and to stop drifting physically and emotionally. All you want is to know what you want in life and how to get there. All you want is to be happy.


Yeah well just..... that feeling