i am so fucking mad. at the world. at anything and over everything around me.

the slightest of things set me off, and it burns.

life has been happening as it gets in jc, yet there is a dormant part in me that feels terribly neglected.
and i have been in as much a state of mental dilemma as ever.  it is a constant pulsating unsettling ache relocated to somewhere at the back of my head.

i have been binging like a wild goose set loose in the vic canteen/cafe. funny how this monstrous side of me only sees light when i step into school. vj, you bring out the the worst in me. nonetheless, control. or regret like i always do but have never learnt from.

8h-sleep the past 2 days has also worked its magic. sleep more, guys. life tips 101 it works. however doubtful as to the durability of this pixie dust effect.

finally, monday. xcountry nationals and them vjxc muffins (thank u eunice god bless u holy goddess) are reason enough for motivation. next season here i come!!! but
first things first - PI first draft and mission: pass econs. here i come!!!

ok that's it for life updates
or not




 zephyr's nco camp brought to light the reality of how time flies like unflappy bird










tonight was a constellation of much needed reassurances and coincidences: bidding what was thought to be farewell by the mrt platform, only to be reunited in the company of who-would-have-known danial lim. also not to be missed, playground fun times never get too old. it's a whole reassurance on itself, being able to sit down, looking back on how far we've come in what's barely been a month. on a side note, bracing myself for a week's worth of morning trainings. 630am mornings and long runs, can you say doubledare.

rediscovering the magic on youtube, i find myself overwhelmed by an odd, familiar wave of feelings i very much welcome. the taste of 2012 is burning on the tip of my tongue. i have reached a point where i might actually need someone to allow me to feel that bright again. right now i am but a diminished matchstick to the sun i used to be, with her.

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called 'Yellow'

So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to've done
And it was all yellow

Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know? You know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
'Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

this feeling will never, ever in a million years, get old. it's been ages since i've cried like i've got any feelings left and unexpectedly enough, i miss feeling things. i especially miss feeling like i am doing something significant with my life.

things just don't feel the same.
i'm starting to think they never will.
counting on all connections to the past,
to keep me rooted to grounds of the person i think i was;
hopefully still am.

Yes, this love’s not good enough. 
It’s time to let it go.
Our weary hearts just fall apart. 
I feel it in my bones.

And God knows that it’s hard to find the one,
But in time all the flowers turn to face the sun.

Silently, just walk with me, 
Like any other day.
No sad goodbyes, no tears, no lies, 
Just go our separate ways.

And God knows that it’s hard to find the one.
But in time all the flowers.
Yes, in time all the flowers turn to face the sun.

And God knows that it’s hard to find the one.
But in time all the flowers turn to face the sun.