You looked upset today, when you held the door open outside the auditorium. For the rest of the day, I couldn't help but reflect on it all. You must be having a really hard time. It's been more than a year, I'm so sorry... I need the courage to get things back in line. I need to talk to you, again.

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery—isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”

Cannot get over how perfect and relatable this quote is at the moment.













looking like a ball of fur that day



It was worth everything -- Running up and down stairs in skin-tight jeans; Painful high fives; Portrayal of angsty scenes...

Then I got inspired by our 'air-jamming-Yellow' session during cheer today hahahaha it was an impulsive thing but nevertheless satisfied because Coldplay :-)




Please don't give up on me. Please believe in me. I honestly have nothing left to hold on to. I am that empty. I no longer believe.

Let me complain and be whiney and unappreciative for a moment, or seven, here SHALL NEGLECT THE FACT THAT I WAS HAVING A BAD HAIR WEEK THE WHOLE TIME (please excuse my perpetually pinned-up fringe)



maybe i can still make it in time


Monday, I can't recall how I felt about everything, let alone what went on that day. Well we had jogging, then took timings for sprints afterwards, so much for energy conservation before my run that afternoon. Then drill comp training during lunch and attempted a little of cheer. Ah I'm trying pretty hard to remember as much as I can about that day but all I'm coming up with are the events that led to my thorough exhaustion at the end of the day. Oh I was thankful for the chance to chill a little with dear Carlie after school, then well, worry about both other classmates not being able to make it for 3000m later that afternoon. Terribly disappointing, not to mention the most painful run I have run all my life; Intense stitches can be no joke. Did horribly but thank god for Comfort Froyo and Shihlin chicken afterwards and got home before 8. Good Lord I refused to believe that it was just only Monday.

Tuesday. I remember suffering from post long-monday syndrome that morning and well HAIR. It was pretty much a distasteful repeat of the previous day, minus jogging but with PE and buckets of pespiration that made me feel unbelievably good. Aiya I vaguely recall lessons being really upsetting and I owed several somethings but what to do I am Anita...... Recess what did I do during recess hmm I think I had food then yeah training during lunch and then attempted cheer once more, with the help of The Hariza this time and I think I got the hang of it. Cheer again after school, meant to take sprint timings but well didn't work out so maybe anotherday. 400m was... I honestly didn't know what to feel about the result man, I was satisfied and all because ya i felt my nose and brains slog backwards against my momentum during the last 100m THAT IS SAYING SOMETHING but lol disqualified so it's ok... Sprinted around with Alicia cuz we were stupid and tired and ya tired again, couldn't bring myself to work in the night so I gave up and became a disappointment to myself once again lol no breaking news guys

i am stopping here because I have momentarily lost interest in dwelling on the past, no matter how recent. Sorry I'm like this.

I'm sorry

to nobody in particular

or

-

MAD ANGRY FUMING INCENSED INFURIATED BURNING WRATHFUL FURIOUS WEARY EXHAUSTED BUSHED FATIGUED tired
LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE
WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE
BRITNEY IS GAY
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
SPANK HER??????????
she'd be glad
but perhaps she has MORE THAN ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH

it is as if you know me so well as if you've known me personally for more than a mere 6 months

ps.... don't exactly know why, but thanks carl





I want to be an actress.
a runner
a kayaker
a swimmer
a pianist
a guitarist
a dancer
a film-maker
a playwright
a novelist
a straight-'A's student
a guy
a girl
a farmer
a child
a model
a child model

Well guess what, things aren't working out. Let's take things one-by-one, start by changing a million mindsets contained in a single mind.


Good run today, too bad it started raining halfway. I forgot to wear socks.