This picture is so lovely.








Extremely productive evening with this dear today. Am probably the most impulsive person I know. Closed that piercing last year only to end up reopening one right next to it. I'd like to see how far I'd go.

Really looking forward to tomorrow; finally get to meet all my favourite people <3 Coming home to our fish tank

Ps. :)

You really don't feel the passing of time when you spend your days alone. Just another 3 days to go, I'll be fine.

Ps. I wanna cuddle you to sleep tonight

























Fall back keep up athena's the best, and athena will always be the best. Today's POP and post-pop was perfect on so many levels, you being one of them :) :)))) all smiles






















<3 lovely day spent with my dear girl. Thank you for everything.

Fact that POP is tomorrow, and everything that meant half the world to me the past 3.5 years is coming to an end, isn't sinking in just yet. Somehow I feel as though things ended a year ago when we became ma'ams ourselves, and gave up that cadetship. Or just... things aren't actually over yet because there's still shooting comp, and we're just going on a really long break. I feel like i should be writing 19 extremely sincere letters, or at least a single emotional post, but tonight just isn't it. Nothing feels real just yet, you know. Either way, I refuse to let go.














I don't want to let go.










Just got home and bam. on the floor. Alone. Tears. Despite everything it's hard to believe I actually have anything. Really hope it's just been a bad day... Nothing more.

Maybe it's the reverse; we're always better, just bad at times.


Your smile melts me, I really can't wait


Overflowing.


Baby fill me up.






















Happy birthday mr lim, thank you for being such an amazing teacher these two years, especially this year. Thanks for being so understanding and just being there too.

was just repasting and fixing biste's letter and....














No shit I've changed






It's almost impossible to believe that anything anyone ever does for you is half as sincerely selfless as they make it out to be. Every good deed seems to be done for the sake of making one feel better about oneself. That is to me, at least. It's been near impossible to believe otherwise lately. Just keep things real, or shut up and don't end up making a fool out of you and contradicting yourself.



The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice. Ironically, all their virtues make them vulnerable; they are wounded, sometimes destroyed. Perhaps it really is for the better, and selfishness really is just that essential for survival.



Another thing that really sucks is to realise that the people around you have actually been harboring the thoughts they do. What if it were me, rather than a junior, that you were talking about then? You'd probably have said the same things. Insensitive, clueless. You say all that because you have never understood, and it hurts like hell.




Nice seeing bren and pamela and...just hanging around this evening despite knowing how much I really can't afford it. Unlimited shit waiting to be done and.....headache from opening my eyes too wide too often today. Never thought the sight of food could make me this nauseous sniffles bad timing bad timing time to get some ass on for amath mock and....life
Ps. 4nchor whatsapp. Horrors have come to life.
Pps. Really lacking sleep these days la time management need help
Ppps. Some guy sketchin me on the mrt ok bye











Met so many different kinds of people today at that place and witnessed all sorts of new rituals. Still unable to find that relentless faith and wonder everybody else seems to invest in their beliefs.
So much food for thought today but i'm too tired to rethink it all. Alot of things are coming to an end. But they have to, don't they, in order for greater things to take place. Perhaps things really aren't half as bad as they are made out to be. I feel so empty and as much as I hate to admit it, extremely insecure. It sucks because I thought I was long over this phase and I've been living life whole again. Nothing has been stable and it's so hard to keep the faith and believe that anything will work out for me. Not even family. It's no longer that typical matter of pushing people away. I feel as though I've been locked up since I was 9 and somebody stole my keys and lost them.
I want to experience everything; feel every emotion there is to be felt in this world, from the worst loss to the greatest happiness. Only then will I feel complete and I believe I'll find myself.
Putting all that shit aside right now I just want to go home so that I can cry rather than feel like a fucking watched animal

Ps. Sliced two fingers and half a nail cos pumpkins