feeling extremely insignificant at the moment. not to anyone in particular but just entertaining the lure of fading into the background to observe and not partake in anymore of which i find completely irrelevant to who i am or what i aspire to achieve in life. it is draining and increasingly so unnecessary.

the realisation of what i really want for myself usually dawns on me in any state of introversion. that is when i am able to think for myself bereft of all social pressures and then i catch myself getting lost in ideas and fantasies of the life i want; the life i need because without which i will never actually be at peace with myself.

jc has been a whole new lesson in life for me: understanding how it's on my own terms and nobody else's to set out and achieve what i really want for myself. self-sufficiency is key but it can be so lonely.