feeling really overwhelmed by the prospect of the impending two months. i don't know if i have the capacity to sit through another term of this dragged out obligated-study-for-exams period again. i don't think i have ever forced myself to sit down and shut myself off, to go with the flow of what i should be doing as much as i am right now. the vast majority may perceive that to be the virtue that is discipline but i feel like it's a sorry excuse to limit myself. i know i am so much more, but all this for the greater good that is education's sake. right.

maybe if i were doing exceptionally well i could siphon some form of high from the mugging experience. that said, i feel like i could get there in time.