I don't know how to start.

The need to escape from everything and everyone around me hasn't been this overpowering in a long time and right now it hurts. I can't explain the incessant need to isolate and suppress myself from those who genuinely care the most and I feel horrible about the way I have been behaving. I am a ball of negative energy and that is the one quality about myself I revile the most. It is a constant mental and emotional struggle just to get myself and thoughts inclusive under control, be it about eating or handling my social and academic life. And in the metaphorical and literal sense, I choose to run-- like I was right before the tightening of my throat hindered my breathing, forcing me to stop and face the mental struggle that is my inherent incoherency. Run because that has always been what I do best.

This, every single time.