initially, i was bothered by how distant i am from those who ought to mean the world to me. that upset me. then the thought of talking about it crossed my mind and that was when the tears started welling up. i invariably feel like i am unable to speak my mind and i often find myself choking on words that simply refuse to come out right. this was ultimately what had me seeking my alternatives. i am sick of people telling me repeatedly how i should consider myself lucky because that is the last thing i need. not now and not ever. don't get me wrong. don't put on your favourite pair of judgemental shoes because i am definitely aware of how much i do have. i am more than aware of how damn fortunate i am, to be granted all that i have ever had and more basically, to be alive today. go ahead and shove the 'kids in africa' analogy in my face (god knows i am going to burn in hell for this). i make a constant effort to count my blessings and i remind myself every moment of every day to be thankful. believe it or not i detest whining.

dead fucking silence. perhaps it was just me. the only one breathing the air of hopelessness that we all exhale. all except for you, shrouded in your bubble of fucking steel sarcasm. as always. no fucking better than strangers. cold. fucking pathetic is also another one of many other adjectives i couldn't be less bothered to come up with to describe ourselves. well, plot twist. she keeps trying, yet to no avail under your huge fucking five year-old ass, and that is what hurts me the most.

i suppose when one gets overly caught up in their own problems they tend to neglect those of others. sure, nobody's perfect, so here's a little reminder to the rest of the heavily weighed population

the number one general social rule in life:
never diminish another's worries or problems. especially when you are unaware, or even unsure, of its full extent

Labels: music