I feel the need to re-evaluate alot of things in my life now. Haven't been extremely unhappy or upset about anything in particular and I no longer feel extremely dissatisfied and overly confused, and i think that's a very good thing. But that's probably cos i spent half my free time (set aside from trying to do shit loads of amath) watching lame shit chick flicks and trying to derive some meaning about life and what I want / who i am / angsty teenager crap. Stayed up for abit last night watching superman returns and I actually cried a few times but I think yesterday was a really good day though i couldn't recall what i did when i tried earlier today... which is damn worrying because my memory has been getting from bad to worse. Have i not been sleeping enough??? Is sleep even a factor?/? Anyway i just remembered that it was wanlin's birthday and we all went to surprise her ha ha ha



ya i dont have a picture of her so here is an old picture
then just studied with esther for the rest of the afternoon
Right.... so the past few mornings have been spent groping my sheets and rolling about in bed for about 2h while snoozing my several phone alarms. I am so fucked for when school starts and i need to stop this shit because i always wake up feeling like i'm fucking wasting my life away.

i think i had a good lot of things i wanted to re-evaluate um like how I've been treating/behaving around the people around me and no those two are not the same things to me. I think i have fucked alot of people up in this lifetime lol who am i kidding its been barley over 16 years lol i typed barley I'm not deleting that Okay back to topic... Yea i am currently aware of how many people i have messed up or affected one way or another and am I proud of it??? No. I don't recall making conscious decisions to do or say anything like i anticipated the outcomes. Guess it was always a typical spur of the moment kind of thing, i mean who the fuck thinks "oh if i do this i am so going to fuck her up ha ha" maybe they had a conscious idea of the possible outcomes of the situation and they just never had the foresight to predict that the cons would outweigh the pros so maybe they just say and do whatever their guts deemed right. Why am i suddenly talking in third person lol this is about me. ok anyway this is one thing i need to change about myself though i stand by my vision of not regretting anything that i have done because THIS IS WHO I WILL BE

i am now too lazy to complete this life re-evaluation post but i dont want to sleep so.... i'm going to continue watching LBD

and maybe explore spotify because i think i may have just uncovered something fucking AMAZING

bye

ps. i'd just like to share my documented night with curry fries


 FUCKING LOVE