I don't know why i'm writing this but i think i am upset. I am also very confused about many things, and I feel like i should let it out. Only I have no idea just where to start. So i'll settle with proclaiming today a day i really felt myself let go for abit, for the first time in a really long time. I think i also got a glimpse of that bit of light. All this, at the extreme expense of others who really mean quite a slice of the world to me. Well things were going fine (as much as they ever will) until I felt myself really spinning out of control and I felt really tired and so very exhausted. It was such an abrupt thing. I remember i was sitting in class and i think i accidentally let the anxiety get to me, and for the rest of the day i ceased to feel like me. Just like that and i feel like i am back at square one. Or perhaps not that far back. I still feel it in me, just with a strong hint of exhaustion blended into it.


On a side note i am also so very disappointed in myself but I think i have yet to decide what i am to do about it


love you charlie nobody will see this