Really can't wait to get this friday over and done with. Perhaps it's really just me. Maybe they're all right about me this time and I have so much to work on. Yet i just feel so very judged, for all the wrong things. Really hated what she did to me during lunch just because I came 3 minutes late, and I was so afraid that she'd take whatever honest explanation I gave as an excuse. Huh well I really didn't have a choice this morning. Hated how she asked if I actually gave a shit about school, and made it sound as though I really refused to give a shit about my own life. Stop it. You don't know me and you have no idea how fucking much I actually aspire to be and fuck it I wouldn't expect you to believe me when I say that I am doing something about it.




I can't even blame her, or my parents or anyone else for that matter for misunderstanding the way I am, because I haven't actually given them a reason to trust me. Perhaps it's how I come across as a person too. Judged since as long as I can remember.... fucking hate it and it hurts so much because everyone is always just so wrong about everything. Killed me inside when my own friends expressed that they thought of me that way too. Some of them who have been through so much with me. Squadmates of four years. Fuck so much angst. Judged by my own parents just because they don't understand. Judged and hurt just because




Had enough today in school because of her and i'm not ready for another round of this shit at home. Probably only hurts as much as it does because well they're my parents. Fuck it these two days have just sucked so much...... big mistake sleeping so late last night because now i'm giving myself a colossal headache with all this crying. Crying isn't even working. Nothing's getting out of my skin.
Time to get my shit together and head to the police station just because....sigh. Really so much to do tonight but then again that's always the case. I end up wasting my time anyway. Snap out of it and face reality