when you don't want to feel, death can seem like a dream. but seeing it, really seeing it, it's fucking ridiculous to dream about it. have to get away get myself away so that i can't curl up and around it all anymore

thought i snapped out of this shit.

well i thought wrong

how am i supposed to get better when i cannot understand whatever it is that is going wrong

going harder than ever but i have to get back soon. this isn't working out. not as I planned.