It's as if everybody's a puddle of water and I'm constantly attempting to disrupt that image of peace and perfection they seem to provide me on their surfaces. I DON'T BELIEVE ANY OF IT. Sometimes I actually hate that I have to. I never fail to retrieve an ulterior motive from every speech; the way they giggle hysterically; the way they flirt with straight girls; every book they read; every promise they (try) to make me and I just nod in accent and put up a façade of placing an ounce of trust in their sweaty palms.

Doubting can be so tiring.
Everything can be so tiring.
wahlao just die ok.
But maybe the angels up there are bitchy I wouldn't want to live an eternal life with bitchy angels I WILL START DOUBTING THEM TOO and when they are kind I will assume lols fucking angels.

On a side note, thanks I for the chocolates, all the best in everything you do ok keep the hormones in check, I believe you're an amazing person.


When I was younger (I was never actually Young), I always believed I would go to hell because of all my bizzare deeds and then I'd dream of making friends (best ones) with the master Devil maybe a smoke a day or two.
So I cried and prayed every night, prayed that my pillow, Cosi, and I would make it to Heaven some fine day because everybody told me it rained anything you wanted it to rain there, anytime. I even came up with an entire new world, in my pillowcase, only accessible to my pillow. We were the best of friends. Back to the new world, it was called Lolia and I wrote several entire books about it (best of it thrown away by the Mom, along with my spark of imagination), and my pillow and my brother's bolster's adventures in Lolia and Memomia (Brother's world). We were on talking terms back then (Brother, not pillow), we'd even film our toys. One fine holiday, we actually achieved Episode 17. I even drew pokémon cards which then evolved into my own creation of cards, that my brother would sell in school everyday, and this girl who had a mad ass crush on him would purchase every bit of it. He never did credit me for it though. I couldn't care less, I was happy.

I never once believed in the possibility that I am not a crazy person.